You little fox you – Part 2

Discernment

Why is discernment our third topic under discussion?

1.    This course happened back to front.
a.    Discernment precedes environment. Environment helps communication. Communication accelerates our diagnosis and discernment.
2.    Discernment means “the ability to judge well”.
a.    Judgment requires evaluation of evidence in the formation of making good decisions.
b.    For judgment to be good…3 things must be of quality.
i.    Evidence. Brave honesty required.
ii.    Evaluation.
1.    Bob Mumford in Take Another Look at Guidance, compares discovering God’s will with a sea captain’s docking procedure: A certain harbor in Italy can be reached only by sailing up a narrow channel between dangerous rocks and shoals. Over the years, many ships have been wrecked, and navigation is hazardous. To guide the ships safely into port, three lights have been mounted on three huge poles in the harbor. When the three lights are perfectly lined up and seen as one, the ship can safely proceed up the narrow channel. If the pilot sees two or three lights, he knows he’s off course and in danger.  God has also provided three beacons to guide us. The same rules of navigation apply—the three lights must be lined up before it is safe for us to proceed. The three harbor lights of guidance are:
a.    The Word of God (objective standard)
b.    The Holy Spirit (subjective witness)
c.    Circumstances (divine providence)
iii.    Conclusion
1.    God glorified. (Vertical reconciliation)
2.    Heart peaceful. (Personal reconciliation)
3.    Couple joy-filled. (Horizontal reconciliation)
3.    Without good discernment, we resort to
a.    Chance. (Que sera sera)
b.    Generic solutions.
i.    “Here, try my glasses, it’s helped my eyesight for the last 10 years”
c.    Legalism.
d.    Comparison, leading to pride or depression.
e.    Fuzzy frustrations
i.    Just can’t put your finger on it.
f.    Bad judgment
g.    Peer pressure (Keeping up with the Jones’)
h.    Short-term goal setting.
4.    With good discernment in place
a.    We can run our unique race.
b.    Live in the peace of pleasing God.
c.    We have the resources for our given task.
d.    We are not bound by rules.

The unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates.
The heart has reasons that reason knows not of. - Jacques Benigne Bossuel

Heb. 12,1   Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

3 Key scriptures about discernment

Eph. 5,10 and ftry to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
•    It is commanded.

Heb. 4,12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
•    Is by the word of God, even to the level of intentions.

Rom. 12,2 Do not be conformed to this world,* but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.*
•    Discernment is not conformation with the world, but transformation of the mind.

The discernment toolkit for couples

1.    Know your calling as a couple.
a.    Do you know the intimate details of your spouse’s clear calling, so well, that you could tell a stranger what he/she is called to spend his/her life on?
b.    What are you doing to work out your God-given calling? How has it affected your budget, your mornings and evenings, your priorities?
c.    Calling kills double-mindedness, but double-mindedness also kills calling. Have you ever dared to ask a spouse or best friend, “What do you think is most important to me and why?”
2.    Discern your spouse’s whole package
a.    What is he/she like?
b.    What will he/she never ever be like?
c.    What are the strengths and weaknesses?
d.    Decide to take your spouse as he/she is, not as you hoped he/she would be by now.
3.    Discern the season of your life.
a.    Open/ing or close/ing doors.
b.    Between signposts or about to make a change.
c.    Is it rich or poor? Have we adjusted?
d.    Is it obscurity time or stage-time? In obscurity, serve happily, in shine-time, humble yourself.
4.    Discern the mood.
a.    We love to preach against moods and swings, but we can still acknowledge that our spouse had either a great or terrible day.
b.    Communicate understanding of feeling, COMBINED with mining the facts of true hope.
c.    Commit to becoming a mood-swinger towards happiness.
d.    Acknowledgment and encouragement.
5.    Discern opportunities
a.    We all dream of opportunities, but get a right when they arrive. Stare down the fear! Pray much. Limit your counselors to the ones that live according to God’s ways.
b.    When opportunities come, empower your spouse!
6.    Discern by discipline
a.    Turn your days into monuments of faithfulness.
b.    Discipline lost in one area, quickly devours all other areas.
c.    Equally true, discipline gained in one area, helps the recovery of all other areas.
d.    The disciplines of daily word-intake, daily prayer, regular preaching and meeting with the saints, exercise and budgeting makes for incredible discernment.
7.    Discern cause and effect.
a.    Escape the ruts of pushing certain buttons to guarantee certain effects.
b.    Meditate on new responses. Practice them in your mind. You can break cycles of relational poverty.
8.    Discern where the joy is.
a.    Whatever you do as a couple, adds or robs joy. Become acquainted with the patterns of joy.
b.    Moments come unannounced. WHEN they come, stop what you are busy with and join it.
9.    Discern common sense.
a.    What advice would you give yourself as an outsider?

Some evidences of a life without discernment
1.    Excuses
2.    Regrets
3.    Flip-flopping
4.    Envy
5.    Trying to get advice from 20 people
6.    Either over-busyness or meaningless time spending.

No one else is living you life, your lives, from your gift-sets, within your circumstances.
Discernment is needed by the Holy Spirit, for you to please God by faith.

Discernment is…

Given freely. (Solomon and James)
It pleases God.
It leads to a full life.
It by the word, the Spirit and by the transformation of your mind.
It comes to the honest, but flees from the self-defending.

Come Lord. Help us discern. Help us decide. Lead us to good conclusions.